AIO for cutting contact with my boyfriends family

I (f23) used to live with my BF(m26) of 4 years and his family when I got kicked out of my house for issues between me and my mom. His household consisted of him, his mom, his dad, and his very pregnant sister (she and I went to high school together and we even share some of the same friends). Anyway, I move in and 2 months later in October 2024 she has a very healthy and beautiful baby girl. The baby’s dad was away in his country (they met online, she traveled to see him and got pregnant, had the baby shower and everything over there). He gets here in like April/May 2025. They got married because of his visa or whatever… but you’d hear arguments and there was always throwing and drama coming from their room. Some time passes and I move back home with my family since our relationship got way better.

I get a call in the middle of the night from my BF letting me know he had to chase her husband out because he slammed her against the door and said he was going to break it down. The problem was, when he chased him out, the neighbors caught it on video and when her husband filed charges they discovered the video and my BF was arrested Saturday afternoon. Lawyers don’t work on Sundays, so I woke up at 6am that Sunday and brought his family breakfast. His mom was DISTRAUGHT that her son had gone to jail for protecting his sister. He got charged with unlawful use of a deadly weapon, assault with a deadly weapon, and threat of death — the “weapon” being a kitchen knife — but he never touched him. You can clearly see on the video that he was waving it from about 6 feet away and that was it (not defending my bf’s actions but still i understand why he did what he did) . While I’m there, his sister confessed what we all already knew… he was physically abusive. She asked for my help and we spent 6 hours gathering some of the most disturbing messages, videos, and photos I’ve ever seen. The next day at 7am me and his mom were the first people at his lawyer’s office, and he was let go that same day.

He comes home and as I’m leaving, she approaches me and asks if I can make copies of some documents she needs for court.

What I didn’t know ( found out the day my boyfriend was released, it was a private matter that they obviously didn’t want anyone to know ) was that her baby had been taken away a week before the incident because the now 1-year-old had several broken bones and fractures across her body during the time he had been in the U.S. It was a 16-page CPS report. It detailed things like a femur fracture (which is how the hospital originally caught everything when my BF’s mom forced them to take the baby to the ER). The report said the baby had healed fractures on both of her legs, healed fractures on both of her arms, and a fracture on her left wrist, in addition to the more recent injuries which required a cast. The husband was listed as the main suspect due to the weird comments and how he was the primary caretaker as everyone worked and he was the only person who was ever TRULY alone with the child.

She had these papers hidden in her car since the baby was taken ( a week BEFORE the incident, fully knowing what her husband did to their child ). Me, her dad, and her mom kept supporting her, telling her: please go to the police, get your baby back, there are so many DV resources in our state. Anyway, she never goes. Then her family tells me she has been saying her brother (my BF) “did that to himself” and that she needs to get her baby back. Her family told her: if you want to be with that man, you can, but not in this house.

In addition to all of this the week before the incident when the baby gets taken away she tells her parents that she needs a lawyer to represent the baby in court. They hand her 5k , but what she didn’t tell them was that it was 2.5k to defend her and 2.5k to defend her husband…who she knew did that to her baby as she already had the papers and who she knew was physically abusive to her.

I’m not victim blaming, she is a victim of DV. Her daughter should come before any man.

Fast forward to now… not only did she get back together with him, her family has welcomed him back into their house because she told them it was the “only way to get the baby back” . My BF was told he needs to be okay with it or leave. My BF has until June when he finishes school, and he’s already $30k in debt for it, so he has no choice but to stay.

I have decided not to go over to their home. I unfollowed his sister on Instagram, and I’ve decided to cut my ties with his family. Not because I’m the bitter girlfriend, but because they are failing that child and putting her in danger. I read the 16-page report, and it was atrocious what had been done to that child. She was eventually returned, but CPS told her: “We don’t have proof that you guys did anything, but we also don’t have proof that you didn’t.” They are enabling an abuser. The baby was taken because it was believed that if the abused continued at the rate it was going the baby would end up dead.

This is specifically sensitive to me as my childhood neighbor let her husband kill their 29 day old child, after multiple cps visits and intervention with their previous daughter. So i know what can happen and i even told her mom and her that.

AIO?