MIL turns a “this hurt my feelings” text into me attacking her character

I just need to vent because this is exhausting.

I sent my MIL a calm text about a comment she made while visiting. I wasn’t accusing her of anything and just saying it came across as hurtful:

My text:

I’ve given this a lot of thought while you were here. When the comment was made about needing to supervise the baby with crayons and that I can’t be mad at a one-year-old, it felt a bit hurtful and critical.

I know you’ve said we should just ignore what people say, but for me, I want to be able to talk to you and open up without feeling tense or worried that I’ll be hurt by the response. When I shared the crayon story, I wasn’t upset at the baby, and I also wasn’t the one watching them at the time. I was just sharing a moment and maybe even looking for a little empathy.

I want to feel like I can be vulnerable and feel safe and supported.

Her response:

That was a general comment that no parent can be mad at a child cause they love to draw and I did not insinuate that you or anyone was and that you have to supervise them. You totally misunderstood what I was saying. I would prefer you ask me to explain if you thought I was even suggesting such a thing. I don’t appreciate this in a text. Just ask me in person if I upset you and I would have explained.

After my husband called her out for being rude, she added:

I thought that I was being supported by telling you a story about what my kids did. I’m sorry you misunderstood that.

So basically: • I calmly shared my feelings about a single comment. • She responded with “you misunderstood” and lectured me on how to text her. I’ve tried talking to her in person prior and she called me “hormonal” so I thought collecting and writing out my thoughts would be better next time • Then she acted like I was attacking her character.

This is not the first time this has happened. I’ve been working on speaking up for myself, but every time I try to bring up something small I feel like I get completely invalidated.