The holidays break anxiety is already hitting me and it hasn't even started.

I don't know why, maybe because of the ruptures this year or something. But I still have a session left and the holiday anxiety and emotions are hitting me hard already. Like bad this year too.

Last year I was just lonely with messy fresh attachment. This year I'm anxious lonely, and I'm shaking, I still feel quite hurt over the recent ruptures and im struggling to handle it in my head alone, and I've noticed a huge spike in my SI along with depression and hopelessness. I'm just scared that I won't make to out of the break, even if I have no plans or anything.

I think this is just a really really shitty timed break. I know I'll be fine. But it sucks. Anyone else lol?