Am i [F30] being unreasonable for wanting certain things before moving in with boyfriend (M44) and his mom?

Hey Reddit! My boyfriend (M44) and i (F30) have been dating for almost 2 years but have been friends for 3. For relevant context Ive known his mom and stepmom since I was a teen and they've been a huge support system for me over the years. I didnt know my boyfriend then. Recently my boyfriend's mom and stepmom broke up and his mom had a medical crisis. My boyfriend moved in with his mom to help out as his stepmom moved out. The place is a mess because the stepmom was a hoarder and everyone has pets and so there's a lot of junk and its not the cleanest, plus theres still moving boxes everywhere. My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of argumenrs lately but he really wants me to move in mostly because it would be easier since I don't have a car. I'm finally getting my license after years of having my own medical issues so I would like to afford a car and I'm working on that. But I moved here from out of state from suburb to country a couple years ago so I'm still trying to get back on my feet, and moving in with them would be a big help financially and resource-wise. However, because of the recent problems with boyfriend, I've been wary of whether this is a good idea. My boyfriend is a big mama's boy and they often butt heads. They can both be a little controlling and have issues laying healthy boundaries with each other. I had a very narcissistic mother and don't want to deal with those behaviors again. As a neurodivergent I really like having my own space and ability to just be myself. Right now I live in an apartment style house I rent from the stepmom and she and I are fine. She does know im struggling with my boyfriend and i admitted to her im unsure of this relationship. In many of these situations lately I've wondered if I was the asshole and for the most part I'm starting to learn that I dont think i am, and even if i was, he and I are emotionally very disconnected as I recently went through a big "spiritual awakening". I'm a much different person than when we got together and especially than when I moved here. I learned a lot about my emotional and mental well-being and so there's a lot of things Im struggling to say Yes to. And I've been really unsure about moving in with them because I don't feel fully respected not only by my boyfriend but suddenly like my boyfriend's mom Is putting her control issues or at least going to put them on me. We usually do great. Shes not as bad as my mom for sure but there are some odd things she gets controlling about. With her sudden debilitating medical issues I feel like she's trying to find ways that she can have some control in life. This morning I had to tell my boyfriend I was annoyed enough that I had to call him back later because of something his mom decided. There's 4 bedooms in the house so i said I wanted my own bedroom if i moved in. Honestly I don't think his mom expected that to actually happen because she didn't seem to care what room until today. Despite not really wanting to move at all, I've been mentally and emotionally preparing myself to have a specific room even deciding what things I want to put in there and where I'd put them (my boyfriend and i had talked about this being my room) Also I have one cat that doesn't like being around other cats and so that would be her room as well because there's four other cats and three dogs in the house though the dogs don't have the run of the upstairs. I have been preparing myself to have this specific room and at first my boyfriend was giving me grief over me wanting my own room and also he's not been taking any actions towards preparing the house for me to move in, like there are boxes everywhere, it's dirty in general, and it's not an ideal place yet for me to bring myself and my 3 cats. So I told him that he needs to put some effort towards making the house a place for all of us to live together successfully. Well after we had a big discussion he finally started to make some actions towards getting the house put together and his mom suddenly decided that she wanted the room that I've been saying I wanted. She has her stuff in two other rooms because of the previous hoarding situation but she's been staying downstairs because of a big medical operation. So she hasn't been staying upstairs in those two rooms that her stuff is in so of course I was thinking okay well I'm going to take this other more empty room and normally I wouldn't care but I had prepared myself to take this room and also I do like this one best. I get at the end of the day it's her house and she can choose whatever room she wants but I feel like I'm going to just lose myself in this house because I get one room to myself and all my stuff, one that i feel i got stuck with, and the rest of the house is for the two of them (boyfriend would have an art room too) I feel like this is not a lot for me to ask given that I would be giving up a lot to move in with them (an entire apartment) and I'm not really excited about moving in to begin with but I really need to afford a car and their house is closer to the city. I feel like I'm just starting to go crazy in general. I love him but at the end of the day I don't know if he's right for me and that's before this room stuff, I think I just need some insight on him in general lol . But at least for reddit I'll ask if I am being unreasonable for feeling upset about the sudden room change? And is the moving in worth it and if not, how do i go about saying so? Thanks a ton !! ❤️