Stress over children getting older

I have 4 kids - 3 male, 3 female, 5 months male, 5 months male (yes we have 2 set of natural twins).

I had my tubes removed in my last c section because I felt like 4 was enough and the pregnancy was so rough.

I now have anxiety over our kids getting older and not having more. I fear that when our kids get older (the boys especially), they won’t want to hang out with us or speak with us often.

I have times when I wish I didn’t get sterilized but I’m wondering if that’s more because I love them little and my fear of losing them. I want to give them all a great childhood and feel like it might have gotten diluted if we had more than 4 (quite possibly another set of twins).

I know all of that sounds crazy and I really am a person with good boundaries / not overbearing. I just love them so much and feel like I see a lot of examples of men forgetting their families and just spending time with the in laws.

Can anyone shed light on getting over being done having kids and having mostly boys?