What should I be looking for in a therapist?

I've seen close to a dozen therapists over the last seven years and can honestly say, I have yet to have a truly positive experience. At best, I get a good venting session on the first session, then as I continue to see the same therapist, I feel like they "see" me and understand me less and less. Sometimes even minimizing my problems (specifically social anxiety and self-esteem issues). Like, they seem to be tunnel visioned on their methods, rather than meeting me where I'm at.

Honestly, most sessions have been neutral in terms of me feeling some relief. But my last session was the first time I truly felt worse about myself. Additionally, their "treatment" revolved around me "looking up" DBT on my own, at home, and start implementing it on my own. Turns out, my emotional brain isn't the problem; it's my logic brain, it is an absolute mother f***er at creating the negative self-talk, self-image, and self-doubt in my head.

Obviously, I know longer am seeing this therapist. But I am just defeated at this point. I'm sick of spending hundreds of $$$ to get little to no relief. I recognize that therapy only really works if I believe in it, but after this last session, it's hard to see that it can help me. I want to believe, but I'm just tired of the process. I'm just tired of all of it.

Are my expectations too high for what I'm looking for in a therapist? Does anyone have suggestions for how I can find the right fit sooner??