SKL Ang hirap... pero we keep living since it's the right thing to do

[Kung hindi po pede dito, let me know and dedelete ko po agad. Di ko po kase sure kung against the rules.]

Nashare ko na 'to sa ibang sub since gusto ko makarinig ng any advise pero dito gusto ko lang talaga mailabas... i wanna share it here also since may added skl ako..Please excuse my english if wrong grammar or spelling

I have a sister who was first diagnosed to be Schezo way back 2013. She's in and out of the facility. When she's there, she's okay, yk there's strict nurses, doctors, strict diet plus rules but once she's out here with us she becomes wild and uncontrollable again. She's not afraid of us. She's not following the rules.

Actually if it's only legal to handcuff her or make her mouth shut, we will do, she's really not helping herself when she's out.

It's been the routine for her until now. We even want her to stay in the facility for much longer but doctors let her out with just 3 months and then the cycle continues.

She's not improving as she doesnt help herself. She doesnt want to take her meds. She doesnt listen to us and her kids.

Because of the situation, her 2 children even have this anger issues and me having anxiety and heart problems. This situation also caused my mother to be stroked.

Too toxic really.

Last year, when we brought her in again, he diagnosis change to Bipolar with Schizo

We know it's manageable with meds but she doesnt have strong will and always not accepting the fact that she's sick.

All of her is off. Everything down to her hygiene is so bad.

We cannot keep being like this. We cannot keep always being afraid like this. We cannot help her being like this.

We can only breath and think straight when she's in the facility really.

Thrice na din siyang naglayas ang ang pinaka matagal is recently lang, almost 48hrs siyang nawawala. Mix reaction sa family namin. There's a part of us na bahala siya and also nag-aalala. Nahanap naman namin siya ulit through FB pero pagbalik na samin kami pa masama.

Yung fear namin may kasama ng nginig talaga. Hindi man araw araw yung itense na ganito pero never ko talaga naimagine sarli ko na may kakatakun like nanginginig buong katawan ko sobrang kabog ng dibdib ko, yung tuhod ko nagbebend talaga. Everyday na stress and everyday na doubtful sa sarili.

TBH nagkakapagsala na rin talaga. Since i believe in karma, alam ko may effect eto pero ang hirap lang mapigilan especially yung mga bad thoughts lalo kung every day na ganito.

Good thing na lang talaga, i have my faith in this life and i am a fanatic na nakakapag pababa ng stress at takot ko agad agad. And i still respect and be kind to people sa abot ng makakaya ko.

Yun lang..

Salamat kung binasa niyo hanggang dito.