Bpd and swinging

There is a lot of context that I feel I cannot write out right now without the release of getting this out first but I (24f) and my husband (38m) have recently talked about singing we have a couple that we are interested in he’s watched me engage with the wife on this couple the first time I got black out cross faded so it didn’t start off super healthy. I’ve struggled with jealousy my whole life and was diagnosed in 2021. I’ve done wonders in recovery with iop , dbt, etc. And jealousy really causes me to split. My husband adores me and we are so similar and jealousy hasn’t been a problem compared to me splitting everyday during past situationships. We talked about just me exploring with this girl and I thought I made it clear I was not comfortable with him and her touching or anything as of right now. Everything went fine until I fell asleep and she had her hand on his stomach when I woke up and I could feel my blood boil but played it cool until my husband took me home. We’re trying to work through some emotions and find some good boundaries to see if we could continue this but the past few days I’ve just been filled with such anger and I’m not sure if this is even a smart thing to be involving in considering my bpd and jealousy issues. If anyone has any feedback or experiences. Do I keep exploring and establish more clear boundaries maybe I’m just being dramatic with my jealousy or is swinging just a bad idea bound to trigger my disorder ?