I (20M) Lied About Having Hearing Loss for Years

I was roughly seven years old when this started. I was watching Spy Kids 4, which was a franchise I loved, and I saw a scene where the little brother turned down his hearing aid so he couldn't hear his older sister. I've always had sensory issues, especially with sounds, and I wanted to be able to do this so bad. I thought about how the lunchroom was full of screaming kids, and how my sister breathed too loudly when we had movie nights as a family. I wanted hearing aids so I could control the sounds around me. My dumbass didn't realize I ACTUALLY had to have hearing loss to do this. Nonetheless, I continued on my mission to get hearing aids. I would frequently ask my mom and teachers to repeat themselves, even when I heard them clearly. I thought I was being smart, but this surely had nothing to do with me getting the hearing aids. Eventually, our school was doing those tests where the test your eyesight and everything. I think they also checked our hearing because I eventually ended up taking a hearing test at the doctors' office in the foam room with the headphones and such. As they did the tests, (raise your hand when you hear the beep, repeat the words I'm saying, etc.) I would intentionally keep my hand down when I heard beeps or say the wrong word. Time went on, and I got a hearing aid for each ear. My master plan worked! Except it didn't because I could still hear. As time passed, I absolutely hated those hearing aids. As I've said, I have sensory issues, and I loathed the feeling of those things in my ears. Especially since they were for kids, so they were thick and clunky. I'm simultaneously seething and gagging at the thought of how they felt in my ears. But I couldn't tell anyone. I was taking this to my grave, so I would take them out when people weren't looking, or flat out refuse to wear them. Years went by, and I grew more and more resentful of the hearing aids. This feeling was intensified by the fact that I knew I didn't need them. Eventually, around middle school, I gave up. I would go to my next hearing test and take them genuinely. I'll be free from having to were them! I won't though, because, and I kid you not, the most ironic thing happened. I took the tests, and things seemed to go as I expected. My right ear miraculously got better, and I didn't need to wear a hearing aid anymore! So, imagine my surprise when they told me that my left ear was the SAME. In fact, it was getting worse! What. The. Fuck. It was so jarring, because what do you mean I'm actually deaf? All this time, I denied any label of deaf or hard of hearing, yet I actually had hearing loss in my one ear. So, here I am at 20 years old, and this is the first time I'm admitting to the longest con of my life. I still didn't start to consider myself hard of hearing until high school, and it wasn't until then I tried to really wear my hearing aid.