I feel devastated

I think I have migraines. I think they are also causing panic attacks? I’m having very real symptoms that are so disturbing and uncomfortable (a cold or hot child down my spine, or like a zap, thoughts of instant terror and panic, palpitations, inability to think), then followed or preceded by pounding headache. Thought I was having a stroke first time it happened and my speech slowed and I sounded drunk. Head CT was clear. Er doc and pcp said maybe?

I know I am catastrophizing but my job is extremely stressful and requires high functioning and I’m the bread winner but I can’t work like this. And it’s happened like 10 times in 3 weeks. It varies. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night in instant terror and with the headache. Only sometimes when I close my eyes I’ll see flashes of light.

I feel psychotic from all this. The thought that my own mind can make me feel like this is existentially terrifying me.

This all seems wrapped up in anxiety and depression now and I am so afraid of trying a med and feel like I am “on fire” or something. This is so scary. Can’t see neuro until July next year.

Idk what to do. I thought migraine (acetaminophen/caffeine/aspirin) pill worked the other day, I felt my brain come back. But then had a headache all the next day and barely sleep at night and experienced losing my mind will driving.

I am devastated and so scared.