Missing my sag ex a lot this week because her bday Is this Saturday :(

We broke up in May, and I was the one who initiated it. Not because she had depression, avoidant tendencies, or PMDD, but because of how I was being treated for 10–15 days every month. During those phases I was constantly insulted, belittled, pushed away, and then suddenly pulled close again as if nothing had happened. That emotional whiplash eventually started wearing down my own mental health.

And it’s not like I didn’t care or didn’t try. Last year I surprised her with a trip to New York for her birthday because she once told me she’d never properly celebrated a birthday in her life. I wanted her to feel special. Her cousin — who she hadn’t seen in almost a year — lived there as well, so it felt even more meaningful to take her.

Her parents even FaceTimed me afterward to tell me how she cried to them about the surprise and how much she appreciated everything I did. Those were genuinely good memories, and thinking about them now honestly made me emotional for a moment.

I always thought we ended things on good terms, because every time we spoke after the breakup, it was respectful. But I think things shifted when I posted a picture from another trip to New York — I was traveling with a girl who was just my dance partner, and we were there for an event. Somehow that picture must’ve reached her through mutuals, and after that she seemed to turn bitter toward me I am guessing she looked at it that I'm already dating someone else and posting her on social media.

I still haven't deleted the pictures I have of her and her bday is coming this Saturday. I want to wish her but I guess I can't because she's dating someone now