I've had a tough realization

I have been generally depressed lately I assumed it was because life circumstances but it finally hit me, it's actually my life and every decision I've made. It's too late to change course entirely, but even if it wasn't guilt and fear have me paralyzed. I haven't said this out loud yet and I'm sure I never will but this revelation has hit me like a flaming ton of bricks. -thank you for your time.