AITA for saying no to a poly relationship?
Throwaway account.
I (18f) have been “friends” with this guy (we'll just call him Bf) (21m) for a while. We dont really talk much but we played VR together before and even have an illegally adopted joke, but I haven't played it in a while and that was the only place we talked really. He had gotten into a relationship with this girl while I had stopped playing and they were in an open relationship together. they had a “love at first sight” deal while they were in their own other relationships, neither of them really good either.
About 3 days ago, he texted me over Discord and we were chatting and I got on and I met his girlfriend (now ex, i dont know her age but im assuming its close to BF) and got her snapchat. (Ex) was funny, we sent each other pictures of what we looked like and talked and the next day we hung out in a chat world together. That's where things started getting weird. (Ex) asked me if I was ok with flirty comments and jokes, and of course I said yes because I make them too. She started texting me VERY sexual things after, like things you'd reserve for best friends or partners… hardcore pickuplines about eating my 😺…
i immediately said sexual stuff like that made me uncomfortable. But she didn't stop. They became less frequent, yes, but I had to tell her a few times a few things she said I didn't like and even asked if it was ok if she sent me BDSM stuff of her avatars. weird, but ok… open relationship, they can do whatever and I declined and that was it.
Then this conversation happened: (another throwaway)
1: I never told her to tell him I said that and even had “I will flirt as a joke” in my bio previously before i changed my bio after i got back, and anyways I had known him longer, and doesn't need to telephone him things. 2: we met like a day and a half ago.. ?
I thought that was the end of it. I really did. But she texted me again earlier, the only texts between this and the last photo were us saying “hey” to eachother and she hadn't been online since.
I tried to tell her again that im not interested like that and would prefer to just be friends…
Then im hit with the fact she broke up with him for me..
Now, im not going to show my discord conversations but she hadn't told him why she broke up with him. All he knew was she was interested in someone else. I of course told him i was the reason she broke up with him, and its not really important to the story, just an assholey detail.
She asked if i was interested in her boyfriend which i said no to then she tried again.
I know im not the asshole but I guess im asking if there was any better way I could have handled it..? It was kind of thrown at me and im not sure if (BF) is ok and im not really sure how to comfort him.
Posted Dec 4, 2025, 2:50 AM UTC