I’m a burden

Hi, Has anyone attempted before? Recently I did and ended up in hospital for more than a week. I lied my way through the mental health people, so i’m free back in Uni now.

Honestly each day i wake up wishing the worst, i was so close with severe liver failure and damage but my stupid body managed to repair itself. I think i’d lie to a therapist so there’s no point, i’m scared to tell people how i feel. I want to be happy, I want to wake up and look forward to the day. I have tried everything from going outside and such. I don’t have a support system and i don’t have much luck finding friends, the ones i have usually have a life and job and care too much about their bf to care about me. Plus I have never vented to anyone about my feelings, when i have (my bf) i think i ruined our relationship forever.

Life sucks, when will things go my way? I’m not a bad person, people call me friendly and kind, even if i’m shy. So genuinely why me? ik nobody can answer that but ye. Maybe one day i’ll reach the level of happiness i only see on people’s instagram stories and tiktoks. Best wishes to everyone struggling rn :)