Need advice in coming out and be truthful with myself and parents

Hey folks, I’m 32 living far from india and working. I have been blooming lately as Bi. I have been meeting people on/off and experimenting in my life pretty late and being Indian parents expecting that I’d be marrying a woman is not something to disagree but my parents have been pushing me to get married and throwing matches here and out. I haven’t come out to them and my family bc we all know being orthodox and taboo they have to shade on me after. Also, I might lose friends being how stereotypical this is and all my friends were married and if they’re happy or not is not my type but I have been unable to come out and stopped seeing women since 2 years. I lowkey feel what I want/need and some end up in situationships and some dates end up long and due to my indecisiveness I’m unable to be confident, and no friends to support.

I feel upset that I don’t want to hurt my parents while pushing away the marriage topic, and all I get from them is disappointment but they talk to me usually to keep things lively. I don’t know what I want/need and I keep myself distant from parents & friends & the potential dates for long term.

Can anyone advice me in this state of abyss where I’m unable to find any meaning in my day to day life?