Hello!! My first post here, just wanted to introduce my baby holland lop,Chai! She just turned 9 weeks today! I got her last friday, and she has been a joy to bond with, and love so much

Long story: But almost two years ago in March of 2024, I lost my guinea pig Bunni of 6 years(I had her since my junior year of hs,and she passed right before I turned 23 that same month) , obviously she lived her full life span of a guinea pig, but I loved her so so so much that that I felt so greedy for more of her, in my head she was going to outlive me and she was essentially my child, even when I had no money for me, I still made sure she had food and a cozy home and was happy and healthy. Her loss has created an irreparable void in my heart that will never close, looking at her picture still makes me cry, I miss her woody smell and cute noises and how talkative she was and her little face

then back in October, we had to put down my childhood dog,Jeffery, who was 13, and it devastating, absolutely devastating as it was so sudden, and again, felt like he was gonna outlive me, to me his passing shouldn't have happened, it felt too soon; he was just a baby.

I went from a house full of animals to in less than year, we only have my two cats(which I love to death, I would do anything for them, and we were close to losing my boy cat Milo due to bladder/urinary crystals but surgery and prescription food and a huge vet bill has allowed my 4 year old to live a painless life for the rest of his life thankfully) But the house felt quieter, quieter than it's ever been, having two bonds who have been around me for what felt like my whole life to now they're gone, no longer here to see,hold, and talk to, and you're somehow expected to be okay with it and move on; but it's hard-impossible and I don't think I ever will 

But I had been longing for the bond for a smaller more dependent creature, I miss the deep and colorful bond I had with Bunni(she had a huge personality, antithesis of a guinea pig,she was insane) and I'm not and never will ever replace her nor I was looking to replace her but I was aching to care and love another bond, especially with these heavy losses. 

And I can't have another guinea pig, my heart can't take nor will it ever be able to; and I thought about hamsters or rats, but they live for like 2 seconds and then die and then you have to grieve so soon. 

Then I remembered in high school every school break/vacation I took care of my freshman english teacher's harlequin rabbit, and I fell in love with her, she was so precious and sweet and was a joy to have, and we bonded! Even after my freshman year I was her designated caretaker up until my senior graduation where I had to unfortunately say goodbye as I was no longer a student and I was devastated(even remembering her makes me emotional haha)

So I decided to pursue getting a rabbit and my heart told me to do it as well.

So last Friday, I got Chai, this beautiful baby holland lop and she is the sweetest being on the planet, she got comfortable immediately, she is so in her own little world, lets me smother her, scares my cats, sunbathes like she owns the place and has grown in just a week and while the emptiness of Jeffery and Bunni's loss is still there and heart wrenching , she has planted some beautiful roots in the wilted garden their loss has left, the ache is slowly getting better to bear, she feels like a soothing balm. It really feels like I was meant to meet sweet Chai, and I'm so happy I did, and I can't wait to watch her grow over the years!

(the crate was a temp for her first day while i set up her pen, she lives in the pen and is semi free roam!)

say hello to chai!