A4A | The Real Treasure Is Friendship! | (Mimic) (Fantasy) (Wholesome) (Enemies-to-Friends)

(This is my first completed script, and so any criticism would be greatly appreciated! I am perfectly fine if you wish to monetize any audio of yours using my script. Thank you all very much.)

Summary: You trudge along through a cave in offensively noisy footwear, waking up all the hostile creatures inside, including a grumpy Mimic. The Mimic harps on you about your questionable attire until you mention that your “friends” were the reason you even came in here like this. They immediately soften and try to comfort you. The Mimic says they’ll scare those people off for you, and hatches a plan to do just that. After the plan is carried out, you part ways as unlikely friends.

The Listener’s heavy metal boots thud against the stone cave floor. They hesitate, speed up, then finally halt before a large wooden treasure chest. The Listener produces lockpicks to hopefully open the chest.

“Um, excuse me!”

The Listener falls backward in surprise as what was perceived to be a wooden box reveals itself to be a mimic.

“Yeah, you weren’t expecting that, were you? Putting your filthy hands all over me like I’m some kind of object. Expecting a little something out of it, huh, for your troubles? You should be ashamed of yourself! Marching in here with those heavy boots on like you own the damn place! Like you’re the first person to set foot in Moon Mountain Cave! Well, let me tell you: I don’t how they do it over in Adventure Departure City, but we cave-folk are considerate of our neighbors who might be trying to sleep! And you know what else? We don’t grab them and try to open them up like you do!”

The Listener tries to explain the apparent misunderstanding.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you thought I was a treasure chest in a cave. Hmph! Wow, never heard that one before! You adventuring types need to get some new material. With all your talk of crafting armor and weapons, you’ve never crafted a single original thought!”

The Mimic chuckles, then breaks into a full laugh at their own entirely improvised joke.

“Actually, wait, that… that was a good one. Hold that thought.”

The Mimic rummages through junk, takes out a pen and pad, and jots that joke down for later. You know, because it was a really good one.

“That was a really good one. The guys at the Moon Mountain Cave Comedy Club are going to love it. We favor jokes that poke fun at adventurers like you. A lot of you are just… just so stupid!”

The Listener protests.

“Oh, please! See, look at you right now: You’re wearing metal boots from a knight-class set! You know what effects those grant, don’t you?”

The Listener lists off the effects they can remember.

“O.K., yeah, Plus 12 Defense and Plus 20% Wind Resistance, great, of course, love it, but the downsides! You’ve got to know what those are, right?!”

The Listener is at a loss. They didn’t know there were downsides.

“Oh, for the love of—! Minus 5 Speed and Stealth, AND Plus 25% Aggro Draw! It’s from a tank set, genius! You walk around in those, especially in these cramped tunnels, and you’ll attract all the bloodthirsty monsters in this whole damn cave! You’re lucky that I’m only extremely annoyed right now!”

The Listener really didn’t know any of that.

“Of course you didn’t know. Figures. Those boots do nothing but screw you over if your mission is stealth. What’s even worse is that your entire ensemble is mismatched! What’s that? Leather armor, bandanna, stone bracers? You even have a shield on one arm with a sword in both hands! I don’t know how you’re even allowed to do that! Who told you it was O.K. to do all of that, anyway? Not only does the fit look terrible, it somehow seems perfectly designed to cause you as much trouble as possible!”

The Listener tells the Mimic that their friends were the ones who suggested wearing this exact equipment.

“Oh, your friends told you, did they? Listen, those people are not—wait, your friends told you to wear that?”

The Listener reiterates their previous claim. The Mimic softens.

“Huh. And… these friends of yours… Did they tell you to search for treasure in Moon Mountain Cave like this?”

The Listener weakly confirms this too. The Mimic seems vaguely worried, almost… caring.

“Oh, no. Oh, no, no, those people are not your friends. Friends don’t send their friends into dangerous caves alone. Especially not dressed like that. I’m really sorry to say, but they’re trying to screw you over, pal.”

The Listener is overcome with anguish that their friends would be so wicked to them, and begins to cry in front of the Mimic.

“No, no, no, wait, don’t cry! Don’t cry. Oh gosh, I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve laid into you like that. I was upset you woke me up, and because I thought you were another one of those greedy dumbasses like your fr—I mean, uh, like those people who sent you in here. You didn’t deserve all that. Or to be screwed over by them.”

The Listener asks if the Mimic is being serious, and not just playing another cruel trick.

“I am being serious. I’m not joking at all when I say that I’m genuinely sorry I said all that to you. You’re not stupid at all! As a matter of fact, I heard you a couple rooms over. Yeah, that wide room without torches and the huge nest in the middle. That’s not an easy room to get through alone. I’d even call it downright unfair without at least three people. But—correct me if I’m wrong—it sounded like you used the edge of your aggro radius to draw only the closest enemies and picked them off in the room before that. Is that right?”

Slightly unsure where the Mimic is going with this, the Listener confirms that that was what they did.

“Yeah, then you stopped for a little while to heal up before doing it all over again. Sure, it took you a really long time to get through, but, as unprepared as you were, you handled it very well!”

Hearing this, the Listener cheers up a bit, but isn’t fully convinced. The Listener asks the Mimic if they’re sure that’s how it is.

”Yes, I’m sure about that. And I’m a credible source! You know, I used to be an adventurer like you.”

The Listener is taken aback at this claim.

The Mimic concedes:

“Alright, I AM joking about that one. Adventuring has never been my cup of brew. But I’ve seen tactics like that employed in my years of trickery. See, I’m not always a treasure chest sitting in this cave; you just caught me snoozing. And yes, for the sake of clarity, I did take the form of a treasure chest. You weren’t wrong about that before. But I’m sometimes a door sitting opposite a real one. Or a statue sitting opposite a real one. Or something sitting opposite another mimic because we think it’s fun to do that. But my point is: I can sit back and watch what works, and what doesn’t work, to get out of tough situations. I mean, you’re standing here right now! That’s the proof you made it out of there! And that’s something to be proud of.”

The Listener really needed to listen to that. They ask why the Mimic is trying so hard to cheer them up, though.

“Look, buddy: As much as I dislike being woken up by such an obnoxious din, I despise fake-ass friends a whole lot more! Hey, I know: You can tell me where those fakers are right now, and I’ll get the jump on them. Maybe I’ll turn into you! Or one of them. Maybe I’ll turn into an incomprehensive amalgamation of human body parts. The possibilities are endless! You got any good ideas?”

Understandably horrified, the Listener pleads with the Mimic not to murder their former friends.

“What?! No! You got it all wrong! I wasn’t going to kill them!”

The Listener stares in silence, for they are the silent protagonist of this story.

“Yeah, O.K., you got me. I WAS going to kill them. But, uh, I tell you what: I’ll go and give them a really good scare. And in doing so, I’ll get them to stay away from you. And me, for obvious reasons. I’ll tell them that you died in here. Ooh, OR I’ll say that we’re best buddies now, and if they want to get to you, they’ll have to go through me! Would you happen to know if they have any deep-seated fears I can change into?”

The Listener disregards that last question and asks if they and the Mimic are friends now.

“Well yeah, of course we’re friends now. I mean, you’re in the market for some new ones now, right? And you seem cool enough. Terrible fashion choices; we’ll fix that, though. You can even be my plus-one down at the Moon Mountain Cave Comedy Club! Ooh! You like tabletop R.P.G.s? I organize a monthly Mondays & Taxes with a few other friends of mine!”

The Listener politely declines that last part.

“Don’t like that idea, huh? Well, that’s O.K. But aside from that, what do you say?”

The Listener happily agrees to be the Mimic’s friend.

“Great! Friends. Now, let’s hear about those deep and dark fears of theirs! I need a final form! Don’t keep me waiting, pal!”

The Listener knows nothing of their deep and dark fears.

“Ah, well, that figures. But I have some more options that are perfect for any occasion. For instance, I enjoy a good tree monster. An angry tree walking out of a cave is certainly a sight, given where trees normally live. Messes with their minds a little bit. Plus it’s like a message, you know, ‘Don’t harm nature.’ But maybe not. That seems a little too heavy-handed. I’ve also turned into a deceased relative before, but you probably don’t know about any of theirs, huh?”

The Listener shakes their head.

“Hm. I’d say I could be a clown, but then I’d just be going out there naked!”

The Mimic enjoys a good laugh once more.

“I guess I can go with old reliable: The abstract concept of utter futility. This is going to be so much fun! So, friend, where can I find these miscreants?”

…

The Mimic returns to the Listener in the room where they met. The former calls out from a distance while moving closer to the latter, apparently struggling with something.

“Hey! Buddy! Friend-o’-mine! I just got back from scaring the absolute worst people to ever tarnish your good name! And if I didn’t know any better, one might say there’s no trace of them left.”

The Listener gets a bit panicked, but the Mimic cuts them off.

“No, no, no! I’m only saying it like that because they really did leave something behind. Check this out.”

Heavy boots clatter to the floor with an outrageous sound. The Mimic sighs with relief.

“In case you needed more proof, here it is. You can’t move around too well with these things.”

The Mimic knocks on the boots to drive the point home, then winces in pain.

“You told me not to kill them, so I didn’t kill them. What can I say? I’m incredible at following instructions. Anyway, speaking of tarnishing your good name… what is your good name?”

The Listener tells the Mimic their name.

“Ah! That’s a nice name. I obviously didn’t use it whilst confronting those hooligans, but I made sure they knew what was up. I told them that a clangorous cacophony will spell their violent end. And, you know, to stay away and stuff. Since the one who was wearing these left them behind, I’d say they got the message. And I can’t really describe the rest of what happened, due to my transformation into an intangible concept. Comes with the territory. But it certainly went well! And it didn’t even take that long, right?”

The Listener suddenly apologizes to the Mimic for waking them up and ruining their sleep. The Mimic, taken aback, says:

“Whoa, whoa! You don’t have to apologize! I did it because I wanted to. And I’m definitely not still upset about getting woken up. You definitely needed a little help, and I was happy to oblige. Then when I got there… Look, I waited for a bit because I wanted to hear for myself how they were. I disguised myself as a big rock sitting opposite a big rock, like I do. And when I tell you that the awful things they were saying made my big rock blood boil…”

The Mimic sighs heavily. They seem much more somber than before.

“They never deserved you. They never deserved to have you in their group, and they never will. I’m sorry you got mixed up in all of that.”

The Listener points out that the two would not have even met if not for the prior circumstances.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right that we wouldn’t’ve met. I see your point. But still, it really sucks.”

The Mimic perks up to their usual self.

“Anyway, enough of that! I never told you my name. Hi, I’m Dupuy. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Ooh! And one more thing: If you’re a little unsettled looking at my disgusting true form all the time, much like all mimics, trust me, I’ve got another form you might like better.”

The form the Mimic was alluding to is the form of a human.

“See? I’m a human just like you! And this form is human-tested, so no uncanny valley to worry about! Isn’t that great?”

The Listener doesn’t know what to say. It’s been a long day.

“O.K., you seem very tired, so we can put a pin in that for now. Let’s see… Do you have somewhere to sleep that’s nearby? If you do, that’s great, but if you don’t…”

The Mimic rummages through junk and pulls out a tarp.

“If you don’t have a place to go, you can sleep in here. But only if you want to! It might honestly be very uncomfortable for you to sleep on the cave floor.”

The Listener tells the Mimic about where they planned to sleep tonight.

“Oh, you do? Great! Well, in that case, I’ll just let you be on your merry way! The town is pretty close by, and I know you can handle whatever might come your way.”

The Listener thanks the Mimic, for everything.

“You’re very welcome, pal. I’m glad we’ve become friends. Feel free to drop by any time, too. There’s a certain system we mimics have for choosing cave rooms. It’s a whole thing, but I’ll still be here for the rest of the month. If you drop by before I leave, we can hang out. Maybe even go somewhere! But anyway, have a great night.”

The Listener replies in kind, then leaves the cave, trudging once more through the cave's interior.