Postictal depression

I never have felt a state of more profound hopelessness/ depression/ just full of dark thoughts than I do after suffering a 5+ minute long grand mal seizure, for the 132 month in a row.

I live alone and have all this medical stuff that constantly stresses me out and never seems to help, and still have to work cause I can’t get social security unless I have one while hooked up to an eeg, so I still have to work to afford basic needs. And yet I can’t drive or keep a job for very long cause i have to lie about my health or no one will hire me. And yet the only advice I get is that I’m either “too negative” or “not manly enough” all Cause no one in my life understands at all what I’m going through.

Sorry for yapping but that’s the background information on my case, do any of ya’ll have any advice, supplements, yoga, foods, activities, that help when you feel just so helpless and in pain and alone, after having a seizure, that all you can think of is how easy it would be to end this suffering once and for all?

Again sorry for yapping and “being such a downer” as all my family and friends would say.