I feel like I don't fit into like existing properly at all the only thing that feels right is crying and hiding in the corner

I don't even know how to say the right words but it's so much it's just too much I don't LIKE thinking about grown-up things I don't WANNA think about money or jobs or or or or I I just I wanna HIDE in the corner and CRY but people get upset and fussy but it's not RIGHT it's not RIGHT he doesn't fit IN he DOESN'T he's SMALL he's SMALL and he's a SMALL BOY and he wants to hide and hide and cry and and and he's too BIG he's too BIG WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY is he so tall and big and and his body isn't the right size it isn't it ISN'T he's supposed to be SMALL SMALL SMALL SMALL SMALL SMALL why does he look so BIG outside it isn't RIGHT it isn't RIGHT he doesn't WANNA look big he doesn't WANNA look older why why WHY WHY won't it STOP WHY WHY he just he wants everything to stop he wants things to stop happening he doesn't WANNA look big or look like he gets older on the outside why does that HAPPEN he's not a grown-up he isn't he isn't he ISN'T he doesn't WANNA look 20 or 30 or 40 or anything those AREN'T THE RIGHT NUMBERS he's a SMALL BOY he's a SMALL BOY why why WHY doesn't the universe or just existing UNDERSTAND him he needs to hide he needs to go cry he's sorry he's sorry he's sorry