The Journey, The Result, My story.

A bit long read but I just want to share.

8/9/7, 12-month work ex, 92 percentile in CAT ’24 (29-13-18) right after my graduation. Didn't clear LRDI sectionals. Still cleared CAP colleges except Udaipur but decided to take another attempt.
Worked and studied hard all year round. 7–8 hours each day for the first few months and had started giving mocks since July. Cut myself from the world despite being an extrovert all my life, focused on work and studies.

Everything was going alright, was scoring decent in mocks ranging from 55–85 with equal in all sections mostly. It was September that I was diagnosed with dengue after being bedridden for straight 7 days. Couldn't walk, sit or do anything properly, got weak af. I got so bad physically and that started reflecting in my mental health. I stopped eating because I was so worried that time was passing and it was a crucial time to finish syllabus and focus more on mocks.

My doctor had to put me on sleeping pills and anti-depressants because I was not sleeping and turned into a zombie. Took me 3 weeks to at least confidently sit and focus. Right after, I started studying more than before, made a calendar for mocks and sectionals and stuck to it. Festivals came, Dussehra, Diwali and I skipped everything. It was only Chhath Puja that I took some time off.

Moving on to the D-Day I was so nervous and excited at the same time. Before going into the centre, my dad, who came to drop me, I just looked at him and thought that I will go inside and nail this exam and when I come out, I am going to just hug this man and tell him that I got it. I wanted to see the look on his face.

I am pretty decent in VARC so it went alright and DILR the section which ruined things for me last year I just happened to hold my nerve and crack 3 sets. I couldn't solve all the questions but got 8 confidently right and right then I had a big smile on my face that I got it. Because QA I scored 18 last year with little to no prep and I was confident that I would definitely get more.

Slot 3 QA happened.
It was a nightmare.
I solved 3 questions in 20 mins. I just froze.
I couldn't believe what was happening, I kept jumping from one question to another hoping I would crack that one, but I got so scared watching that dream slip away that that is all I could think about. I picked some other and since it was TITA, I attempted and put in the answer, but was only confident about the 3 I got.

I come out and I just look at my father, eyes down, “Yeah quants thoda sa mess up ho gaya, let’s see,” and we head back home. All he told me was, “Yahi life hai beta. Failure is all part of plan. Sab theek hoga. Tune apna mehnat kara na.”
I couldn't say anything. Just felt grateful and also questioned whether I even deserved this after the massacre I pulled after my drop year. Man I wanted to hug him so BAD.

Today the response sheet came. The most emotional roller-coaster day.
I was already in a very bad place. A guy crashed into me as I was going out with my parents and that resulted in my phone screen going dead. I just felt today is not going to be good. No data backup, nothing. But I called one of my uncles, who said he'll have it fixed in hours which he did. While I was at his shop waiting, I checked my raw score from another device. 32-23-3.

I froze. That 3 attempts and 9 score was the only hopeful thing that could fetch me a percentile to be in the race—and I got 3.
I laughed.

Got my phone, walked back 3 kms to my home (I was dropped by my parents on the way back to the store). I get back and tell my parents my luck didn't help. I am not clearing quants. I saw their faces sad but still worried and still assuring me.

I go to my room and open reels. IMS reel pops up:
“If you have attempted TITA, you might want to manually check those scores.”
I rushed to check.
All 3 questions right.

I run to my father and I hug him and tell him there is still chance. And he looks at me with this big smile on his face which I am pretty sure wasn't even because of my result, but because of the fact that I felt okay and that I do believe things will be okay. My mom comes from behind, hugs me and tells me, “I told you, it’d be okay. Bhagwan ji dekh rahe na.”

I cried.
I felt so light not the result I actually wanted but can't complain only be grateful for where I am. The hug happened, under different circumstances, but it happened and I am so so so so grateful. I laughed when I broke down and I cried when I felt okay.

It has been a hell of a journey.
I am proud of anyone who dared to step on this journey, and every one of you has a story. Some might have even happier ones and some maybe will not have a single smile. But I just want to tell all of you be proud of the courage you kept in this journey. Be proud of your story, be proud of yourself, of your efforts. And if you aren't, well, you already are halfway you know your limitations, drive through them!

The story has to go a long way for each one of us!
Take care and if any of you wants to talk, I am the stranger there for you all!