Venting a bit

I just talked to one of my straight friends who took pity on my basically nonexistent dating life—we're almost the same age, but I've been single my entire life whereas he's jumped from intense relationship to intense relationship with virtually no gaps in between. Putting himself in my shoes seemed to trouble him. I was feeling just fine about my life until he decided to externalize a bleak view of it, and for the past couple of weeks since we talked I've just been feeling a bit down, more or less because of his reaction. In that conversation he contrasted me with one of his gay classmates who goes to orgies often and seems to enjoy that lifestyle.

Sometimes I feel like a minority within a minority and truly all alone in the dark night of my soul. I feel truly lucky to have some great friendships with people who aren't gay men, mostly straight men and women. It means a lot to me, but I've always had the sense that something's been "missing" since I was 18. I have one gay friend, older than me, who isn't really my type and enjoys hooking up much more than I do. Even he wishes he could be in a relationship, but he has plenty of enjoyment of anonymous Grindr sex to tide himself over with. I don't know if I do, and that's what's eating me up inside. I sometimes subtly nudge my straight friends to introduce me to their gay friends, but they often fail to follow up or remember. Weirdly enough, the people who were most enthusiastic about doing this were my former coworkers who I didn't really consider close friends. Anyway, that's where I am right now. I don't know if any of you are in a similar situation, but hang in there.