I Was Played By My Own Stupidity

I dated a guy on and off for like 12 years. Honestly- we were a great fit but we were both young and didn't understand relationship dynamics. I think we both had a lot of growing up to do, and as time went on, we stayed in touch and flirted and talked about our future. We sort of always laughed about how it was obvious we would eventually end up together, even if it meant later in life. I moved for work, and we kept in touch. It was pretty romantic, tbh, even with miles between us. He had said when I came back, he would plan a proposal, he painted it like our future was gonna be incredible- our future home, our children, even a plan for a business we both wanted to open together. Last year, after I told him I would be moving back soon, and next thing I knew, he went silent. He had begun been seeing someone for two months (which we both did in our off periods, this was the norm) but then they got engaged... After two months!!! After that I stayed away- what's meant to be will be, and who was I to ruin something if it was good? His new fiance looks sweet and it isn't her fault.

He got married last weekend. At 36, I feel heartbroken. I feel played. I deleted him on socials but I still feel like part of me is wishing it was me in her shoes. Yes, I know this was clearly a play. But damn. Shattered. If I hadn't of moved, it may have been different. I'm an idiot.