Help a girl out!

First of all it’s kind of a long story… since i was a kid i knew that something in me is “different”. I always wanted to be a witch instead of a princess, liked the moon (i still do), loved animals, had weird dreams about 3 witches always … a red one, yellow one and a green one. Now i’m an adult and i’m kind of “stuck”. My grandma was some sort of a witch i guess (that’s what my family told me and i always felt a connection to her even though i never met her bc she sadly passed). My dad was in his youth into spirituality. He saw auras, ghosts and did some practice but it made him anxious so he stopped. (The grandma is from my mom’s side not my dad btw). I always had a strong intuition like a really strong one and everyone knew that. Two months ago my dad told be something that is not kind of “his” ig. He never talks like that but that day he told me that my touch was healing him. Multiple people told me that many times but my dad only once. I actually know that when i hug someone it gets them to a point where they are feeling better and healing themselves from some kind of trauma. Also as a desperate teen i did some “spells” for fun… they worked lmao😭 I even got from my aunt a tarot deck… but idk how to use it. I always can feel when the energy changes in the room… idk if it’s spiritual or every human has those abilities.. it makes me question my life😭 am i weird? What does that mean? But that’s not the end… the 2 sickest things that happened to me was:

1. my ex left me. He actually did disappear like he cut contact no one knew what is going on. We didn’t even technically broke up he just blocked me. On a random evening 4 months after i was blocked i felt like im in such a pain… like tears were falling down my face, i had some bad bad thoughts (iykyk☠️) i was just feeling like i was dying BUT i knew that is not what IM thinking/feeling. It was him. In fact… he was thinking that and feeling that pain (i’m not gonna talk about him here but i needed to mention that story).
2. when i was a teen i had a inside joke with my friends. I had a Joke that i got a dark side in me and we called her Aurelia. She was like a powerful witch/demon idk who kind of protected me and always came out when i was angry. We laughed about it bc it was a joke but then suddenly someone once insulted me really bad… everyone got really scared of me. I was not talking like myself (i mean i didn’t use like the same style of talking), the wind started blowing, energy went from laughter to a scary cold feeling that something is really wrong. I never felt something like that but it took just seconds that the person who insulted me got kind of weird and quickly apologised. He ran away scared af and my friends told me that it just was not me, they felt not good around me in that moment so they felt like they MUST go away a little. I actually don’t even remember that moment… it’s blurred..

now my intuition is kind of dead. Idk how to make my intuition work again… i kind of feel like i shut her down. questions:

1. am i weird? am i imagining this?
2. what does it all mean?
3. how can i wake up my intuition again?
4. what does you think about all this stuff..?
5. should i maybe just idk go to the church and pray lol😭