Overcoming pressure ranting

Hello. This is just me ranting cause when I write it somewhere I know if eventually feel less heavy and get used to it which makes me feel lighter. I already know how unhealthy my mind is right now so I want to get rid of it so bad cause unfortunately I cant by just letting the time pass.

I started writing on ao3 cause I had a story in my mind which made me so excited to write about it and see peoples opinions. Well things didn't really go as I expected and I know I should have expected this cause I'm new and stuff but I should get rid of this stupid feeling somehow.

As I said I was so excited and things turned around cause now I no longer feel excited I feel like I'm being pressured. I got a annoying habbit of keep checking my stat and I get disappointed. I get jealous when I see other people's work getting positive comment while mine is questions and spam.

I thought I will be happy to have 33 subscription for my first work but as I wrote I eventually feel like now I owe them something and I need to keep their exceptation. But they don't show me any positive support that gives me any slight joyment. And now I published my third chapter and seeing how now I only get 5 likes and lose one subscription disappointed me more. I know i shouldn't feel like this. I don't owe them anything and I hope to get out of this feeling soon I don't like this feeling.

I told myself I won't care when I first started it but at some point it still makes me feel sad I can't comprehend if they like my work or not but that shouldn't fucking matter I want my passion back for story writing not peoples exceptation.

Some people will say things like "welcome to ao3" or "it is what is is " well I know it too so let me get used to it.

I hope this stupid feeling goes away faster cause I still want to write but not like this.