Partner not paying half of health insurance, am I in the wrong

Hi everyone,

I have been with my partner for half a decade, we are both in our early 30's. For context he is a high earner while I make median wage and we live in a major city.

In our relationship we split the bills equally. He is very frugal while I am more relaxed with money, but still live simple life, I consider things like £10 lunch in a cafe an extra but not an end of the world. My account is mainly saving, groceries and public transport. We have health insurance through his work that we have been splitting equally for the both of us. I have chronic condition, nothing too severe but I need medication and treatment whereas he is completely healthy.

Recently the price of the insurance has changed and our low tier plan would not cover the treatment I need. All of my expenses have gone up this year and I worry about money more lately. We were looking at the different plans and I said 'let's upgrade since my treatment wouldn't be covered.' He then said that I should pay 2/3 of the price since he would not be using most of the insurance and without me he would stay on the lowest tier.

When I told him I thought we could split it 50/50 like we do everything else, he told me that I should give up my frivolous spending and I can clearly afford things with ease. This was very upsetting to me as I don't feel that I have heaps of unnecessary spending to begin with. He also suggested I stop putting money into savings to afford things easier. Somehow knowing that he would not meet me in half way in this matter knowing that he makes 3X my income, and this being about our health and not a luxury, was really upsetting amd I got really emotional.

I live abroad in a country where he is a citizen and see my family around 2x/year. Me and my mother usually go on a 2 week holiday once a year as this is really the only time we get together without one of us spending our days at work. I have spoken to my partner about this but not booked anything. During our conversation and me hysterically crying and breaking down, my partner said that I should consider adjusting my holiday or not going so that I can afford things better. He also went on to say that maybe I cannot see my family that often because 'who goes abroad every few months' He went on to say that I shouldn't be so demanding and expect him to pay for my stuff. He also talked about me living humbly and within my means. I got even more upset about the comments about my family, as I'm really close with them and miss them a lot. He also said I have changed from the girl he fell in love with. He also told me to stop with the crocodile tears/tantrums.

My partner is really kindhearted and he is always there for me, supporting me any time I need it. He has been really helpful trying anything to make me feel better when I have struggled a lot with mental and physical health this year. He also planned a really special birthday for me this year with full day of activities I like. I love this guy and he is great but anything to do with money he draws a hard line.

I am struggling because I still feel upset and have not managed to get over his comments. I love the guy but also am not sure if I can live with his money attitude long term. I don't think he would stick around if my health got worse and I could not contribute financially. He is very supportive but as long as it's free. I also miss my family and am aware that each year that passes I'll miss out on their lives and my mom is not young either. Also he does not enjoy celebrating holidays of any kind and now does not want to pay for decorations I bought for our home as he feels nobody should buy such useless. Trinkets. I respect his frugal nature as it has brought him real success through strength of character but I worry that my life in the decades to come would become joyless and I would be in some type of forced stoicism long term.

When we don't talk about money I can tell that he really loves me. We are really similar with loads of in common but I wonder if I can ever get over his attitude when it comes to money, it's like he is making me out to be some type of gold digger when that is really far from the truth.

Thank you for everyone who read this far, I would really appreciate outsider perspective, was I in the wrong? What should I do?