I jumped in front of Billy Smith as soon as he was alone in the alley, as sure-footed as a mountain lion.

“Mr. Smith, for the crime of squandering over 5 million taxpayer funds, you are hereby sentenced to death”.

He barely had time to scream before I swung my axe. He was a bloody heap of flesh within minutes. I leapt out of there, a dark avenging shadow.

In twenty minutes, i arrived at our lovely little 3-bedroom suburban house, already having peeled off my bloody superhero suit in the laundry unit. Lillian disliked the smell of blood in the house. She was sitting at her laptop, intently staring at the glowing screen. “The first tweets are coming” she muttered, barely looking up. “They’re calling you Robin Hood again”.

I felt angry. “Idiots! I am the Ax-Man. The Ax-Man! Are you putting it out there?”

“I am, darling, but nobody’s really picking it up.”

I flung myself on the couch, next to her. Mmmm she smelled nice, no blood on her.

She switched to a different tab.

“Don’t worry about the internet, sweetheart, I’ve marked out our next target. It’s going to be a bit more difficult. But worth it.”

I studied the innocuous-looking old white dude whose face she had pulled up. Joel Mason. He looked very much like the dozens of others I had already dispatched over the past year, ever since I had donned the suit and became the Ax-Man.

“What has he done?” I asked, hooking my arm around Lillian. But I wasn’t really interested.

“Oh he’s terrible. He’s already wasted over 20 million government money in the the contract for the new hockey stadium- our money. And they haven’t even broke ground yet- look, here are his accounts-” her nimble fingers danced lightly over her keyboard.

I didn’t want to look at his accounts- I had no doubt what she was telling me was true. I nuzzled her neck. “Don’t worry, I’ll punish him” I murmured.

She giggled and made a half-hearted effort to push me away “I’m still working on his schedule!” she protested.

“It can wait” I said. “We have to pace them out anyway. Come, my love”

She finally turned from her laptop, and looped her arms around me. I shut down the glowing distracting screen “Goodbye Mr Mason- I’ll visit you soon.”