Help with grad research

Hello, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading my thesis and giving me pointers on what to improve, what to change, and what to completely omit.

My paper is on the possible effects of abuse and neglect on a child's speech and language, and the potential speech disorders that emerge from maltreatment.

To give more context about myself and why that topic was chosen, I major in English language and literature, and minor in linguistics. My research centers on speech and language acquisition which links to my major, and speech and language disorders, which links to my minor.

I'm currently still working on my paper, but it would be a great help to see what other people think of it as my goal is to get a good mark that could boost the potential of me getting into the master's degree that I want (Speech and language pathology).

If anyone is interested with the topic, or just enjoys reading research, please message me, it would be highly appreciated.