I think I got used like a kink dispenser

So I met someone on threads of all places…. And she and I hit it off, it was amazing talking to someone who liked the same games as me and same fandoms as me and she was only an year older (I’m 18, she was 19)

Then she told me she wanted to make me hers and I happily agreed, because in my mind she was everything I wanted. It had only been around a week and a half of me talking to her and after that

Every day for hours, she used to ask me to rp with her, a lot of the times she wanted me to switch which I didn’t even know she was into before she made me “hers”

I asked a few times that it was too much or that it was a lot because she asked me to do a lot of emotionally intense stuff both to her and from her and it got a lot and I kinda broke down after a few days and confessed how I can’t keep up and that hours of roleplay, no aftercare (literally none, she didn’t care, after we finished one we would have another right after) that I just can’t do it more because I felt like our dynamic was nothing more than kink to her

She said she understood and would try to reduce the kink, which ended up being a lie since she continued doing the same thing the next day and I talked to her about it again and she just told me that she felt comfortable enough to show me this side of hers and that I’m not being a good sub by being like that and saying no

I feel sad to admit it but I cried irl during the conversation about how I did like her and did want to make her happy but I didn’t want a dynamic that was all kink and nothing else

She said she understood, thanked me for my time and then blocked me

She blocked me on everything and I cried like a baby over that

It hurt, I felt vulnerable enough to trust her and she just did that

It’s been week since that incident and I talked about it to a few people I’m close to

It still hurts and I still feel confused

I just, was I just a way for her to enjoy kinks?

After all that time, it just feels like that ngl……..