Contradictions

-) NHS: "please look after your own health, stay home if you are sick" Always NHS: "You call in sick? You are the scum of the universe, the worst of the worst and it's your fault NHS is falling apart. Once you come back you will face 5 days of torture, a trial by combact and must write 4 apology letter"

-) management: "I am sending 7 patients to you, one is very confused and the other one has NEWS of 10"

Always management: "I see your notes but I also see you haven't completed the 45 assessments and didn't tick the care plans. This is unacceptable"

-) management: "you are down 3 HCAs and one nurse, can't send anyone to the ward. Good luck"

Always management: "how come nobody signed the cleaning checklists? Why nobody did stocking up? We failed the audits and this unacceptable"

-) NHS: "It's 24 hour care, in busy days you have to prioritise"

Following shift after a heck of a day: "why hasn't the board been updated?"

-) the Trust: "as I am sure I told you 48392 times today we are broke AF, if you want to wipe yourself after using the toilet you must bring your own soap and toilet paper from home because they are costing us too much money. And you must do the clerking too because the ward clerks paid minimum wage are draining our finances"

Always the Trust: "vacancy for Head of Diversity and inclusion, band 8b. Vacancy for the 271915th IPC nurse, band 7. Vacancy for Manager of Good manners, band 11. Vacancy for Assistant to wipe the Director of Nursing's nose, band 8a"

Yeah, let's laugh not to cry