Nice to Meat You

I wanted to post this to an r/ but honestly, just thought I’d put it up here first. I wanted to have all my info in one place. Pretty big on meat (get your head out of the utter) and as an ex vegan, literally never take it for granted. So cooking it, grilling it, baking it, salt brining it even, these are kinda like destressor activities for me. 

Went down a specific rabbit hole recently, meat thermometers to figure out which ones are the most accurate out there and thought I’d compile a little list of what I found. Personally, I can just eyeball it now usually, but for thicker cuts or bigger batches, need one to double check still cos its a very fine line between rare and medium rare and I wanna err on the side of caution. 

Here were some of the specific features I was looking out for from my own experience:

* Accuracy: this cannot be off by more than like a degree MAX 

* Build material and quality: is heat and steam gonna impact the thermometer or make it less accurate over time, or even just like melt. 

* Length of the probe: very important when you’re looking at truly thick cuts or roasting a whole leg of lamb

* Price: obviously, willingness to pay varies but are the pricier ones worth the money they’re asking for

Now the most promising picks I found, I did a little analysis of them based on these and added a couple of other features in case there’s any newbies here who want the lowdown.

Thermo Maven probes

By far, my top pick. This is one of those all in one types, that you know you’re not gonna regret. Its just two probes, no connected instant read box. So the build is obviously all metal which makes it great for just jamming into the meat without worrying that some plasticky part’s gonna melt off (like 750+°F tolerance). 

Also, all metal means just chuck them in the little utensils compartment in the dishwasher afterwards and you’re done. The probes connect to an app on your phone and you can read off the temp there, you can also get a tiny little device of its own that connects to the probes by bluetooth but honestly, the app gives you a better reading. 

The real kicker here is the accuracy, like off by just ±0.5°F, which doesn’t mean it’ll be off by this much every time, just that if it ever is it’ll only be a difference of like half a degree. For accuracy, you also need to be looking at its response time, so it doesn’t take too long to give you a reading by which time you’ve overcooked your cut already. This one’s pretty instantaneous, I think just 2-3 seconds so shouldn’t be an issue. 

Now, probe length is an issue here, the probes are small compared to any drug store insta read you’ll get so if you’re going the whole roasted ham route, then you need more of these to stick into different parts of it. It’s not a huge problem but doubling up on the probes means doubling up on the price. 

That being said, the price (around 150+) is well worth it for all the features you get and peace of mind that its always gonna be accurate. Still, this is for someone who takes the craft seriously and works with big batches, I don’t think I could justify the price for someone just trying to make thanksgiving dinner at home you know? You just have to remember to charge the probes before you use them. 

BALDR instant read

The obvious budget pick here, but weeded out all the scammy ones that sent up red flags and came up with this. If you’re just starting out and investing seems risky, then this should be a good option. Its a standard instant read thermometer, meaning there’s one long probe (always a plus) connected to a little plastic box that tells you the temperature. 

You would expect it to be shitty given the 12 bucks you’re handing over, but accuracy wise its exactly +/- 1°F, which is honestly a rare find in these insta reads, they tend to usually be off by 3 or 4 more. Its response time is as good as the thermo maven which is surprising and the build holds up well, even though the plastic part isn’t ideal. If you’re using this one a lot though, you’ll start to notice some glitches after like a year or so. That’s just how plastic degrades, no matter how heat resistant it is. 

They do have a probe version, but its wired so if you’re a beginner its best not to mess with that stuff yet. 

Its convenient, its cheap. Not the best of the best obviously, but in terms of insta reads, its definitely up there. Don’t be fooled by the price, these sorts of thermometers don’t take rocket science to make, just some due diligence. 

Hope this helps anyone who’s looking, doesn’t matter if you’re seasoned (geddit) or a newbie to the grill world. Nice to meat you :)