I started my first run as embrace Durge but I feel bad about the consequences, advice?

At first it was fun to see new interactions but I don't like killing people because then I miss them. 😭 I love them too much I don't want to lose them, I already lost Gale and I miss his stupid puppy eyes. I don't even like the Butler he's a bootlicker and not even a good one omg, should I resist?