Whats tabbo?

I have been married for 15 years and I know without a doubt my husband had not made it through even 1 year without cheating on me. But in the interest of fairness I asked myself if maybe its possible I am just old fashioned?

I know that before we got married I asked him to clearly define what cheating really was. In the end of that conversation we agreed cheating was anything we hide from each other.

So here I am 15 years later wondering 🤔 💭 What is wrong with me that my husband could've ever give me a single year? Many times i found his dating accounts and posts on reddit looking for women to hookup and I simply turned the other cheep and tried to be more for him . Hoping that would strengthen us.

Is that the promise of for better or worse? Was I supposed to freak out call him names and throw shit? Did I stop reacting because I stopped caring?

Is it possible I set the bar lower every time he disappointed me? If I did then his bar would be underground. What constitutes having been through enough to finally give up and say thats enough?

I dont know I don't deserve this most of the time. Other days I wonder if he should just ask me to redraw the line in a realistic place where he isnt cheating. Its only a fling?​ or should I move on before I give another year to a selfish man who doesnt care?