I’m coming here for advice 21M / 26F we met at a hangout through my church for young adults. We had met a few times but meeting at the gym through a mutual friend.. I felt that we connected instantly. After first I did have a crush on him not knowing his real age (was told he was 23-24). Not knowing he was 21. He said from the start that he did not feel he would be a good match for me because I was older and he was not mature  enough emotionally /spiritually to be a good biblical provider.
So we stayed friends and I just got over things.
A few months in I still felt that we were kind of close/ intimate for platonic friends. 
He started having family events happening where he felt that he was not at his best he was more closed off.
I also recently lost multiple family members and 2 other family members trying to take their life.
A few days after my grandma died I asked him if things were healthy between us and I ended up asking “what needs to change?”.
He sent me these text messages saying he felt he couldn’t meet my expectations etc…
So I think in the midst of my grief, I couldn’t emotionally process losing someone else.
I tried doing everything I could to be positive like he asked sending Bible verses etc;... while also giving him space because he asked for both..
This is someone I deeply care for and I’m stuck..
I’m just confused on the situation at the moment.

Needing advice if the friendship was romantic or platonic. Did I ruin things?