Did I make the right choice?

Long-time lurker, first-time poster here.

I’m a 22F with a very anxious attachment style, and I’ve struggled with limerence since I was 18 - the first time I had a major episode over a person which lasted over a year and a half.

Honestly, I’m exhausted. It’s gotten to the point where I recently cut off someone I’d only been talking to for about two weeks because I could feel the limerence starting to take hold.

We were chatting through long DMs and voice notes, pretty consistently for about ~2 weeks. Then they suddenly disappeared for a few days with no explanation, and the moment the pattern broke, I spiraled. I was constantly checking for replies, overthinking everything, and strategizing how to get their attention again. When they eventually returned, they explained they’d just had a hectic few days. But by then, I could feel the anxiety and attachment already building inside me, and I knew where it was headed.

It’s honestly scary how quickly I can form an attachment within days.

Recognizing how dysregulated my nervous system already felt, I decided to end the interaction. I told them I can’t do “casual talking stages” because it's not healthy for me (truth that I didn't tell them is that I get deeply invested way too quickly, even after a short time). They responded warmly, respected my boundaries, and said they’d always be available if I needed a friend or someone to talk to — but they didn’t say anything that suggested romantic interest. Looking back, I think I misread some things or created meaning where there wasn’t any, because my limerence lenses were already on. I doubt they’ll reach out again (as much as I desperately want them to).

What’s wild is that I’m reacting like I just had a major breakup, even though we only talked for two weeks. It’s the potential and the “what ifs” that are haunting me — the idealized version of them I built up in my head. They seemed like a good person and had qualities I admired and would want in a partner, but it was all online, so I’ll probably never really know. The regret is hitting hard, and part of me wants to reach back out, but the shame is holding me back - I am sure I will look like an idiot if I backtrack today. I’m debating messaging again in a week or two, but I don’t know.

I keep thinking of things I want to ask him, especially because he was helping me with advice for my fitness journey. My brain is already planning scenarios where I message him in a month or two to ask for more guidance. At the same time, I’m aware that he never asked for my number or a picture (I had none of me on the social media platform we met on) — though to be fair, things were still very early.

Now I’m anxious about future anxiety that hasn’t even happened yet. My nervous system is in complete overdrive.

I’ve noticed that I only feel this level of intense limerence and anxiety until there’s a clear commitment. “Talking stages” or situationships absolutely destroy me because of the uncertainty — even if I genuinely enjoy the person, the instant any inconsistency happens, I panic, overthink, and try desperately to fix things or seek closure.

I also recognize that a lot of my limerence comes from projecting qualities onto the other person and idealizing them, to the point where I end up attached to a perfect version of them that never truly existed. And once things end, that’s what I grieve for so long.

Maybe part of this is also tied to the fact that I’m overweight due to a medical condition (I’ve just started my weight-loss journey) and have a low self esteem as a result. I tend to seek connection online because of it, and maybe that plays a role too.

I’m feeling really lost and would sincerely appreciate any advice. Thank you for reading.