It’s so hard, man…

To recap: I (16F) confessed to her (16F) back in July or something, she rejected me after 2 weeks of thinking about it, then she got distant when school started again…then after a few months, got close to me again, but definitely held my other friend closer.

For the last 2 days, I hung out with both her and this other friend, attempting to accept it already and move on…but I’ve tried so desperately to pretend I don’t care, but I do. I think (or I guess hope) that my crush went down since then, but I hate the fact that remnants of it are still there to create false hope and judgement and jealousy to brew.

I feel really pathetic just doing this. I hope things will get better. I don’t know anymore.