I Keep Messing Up Every 2-3 Days

Quick back story. Have severe pain from multiple severe conditions (medication resistant Crohn’s; 17 major surgeries) and the lesser known but perhaps worse Interstitial cystitis). Had one of the worst flaires of my life about a year ago, went on traditional prescribed opiates before switching to 7OH.

Quit high dose 7 about a month and a half ago. But I still had severe pain. Longest I’ve made it is 8 days a few weeks ago. I want off so bad but I keep making it 2-3 days then caving due to pain.

It’s an excuse because I said to myself I’d rather be in moderate pain with severe spikes rather than be on this stuff anymore. Killing my sex drive, depression, costly etc.

My dose is high (an entire body of the purple super K MIT once a day but to compare that would barely take me out of withdrawal for 4 hours back on the 7.

Looks like this is turning into a rant and I apologize for the rant. All this being said, do you have any advice? Endlessly resetting my progress especially after I was over the worst is driving me insane.

I say every time I will make it through this pain and withdrawal, won’t sleep for 2 days, get a spike of severe pain and repeat taking the extract.

I’d just like some perspective or perhaps some tips as I am repeating this cycle over and over so obviously I’m not strong enough. If there’s any recommendations or just things you want to share I’m all ears. I’m getting desperate and exhausted.