I don't think I can do this anymore

I'm going mentally insane over ED. I've been sobbing and screaming and having nightmares over my ED application.

I'm a student in a competitive high school where everyone's aiming for top colleges. I haven't gone a day in school where at least three people have talked about their colleges and where people have been applying. (Spoiler alert: 3 of my classmates have already committed to god-tier schools which has caused everyone else to panic about their own upcoming decisions.)

My twin sister has also applied ED to a different school and it's been fucking hell being compared to her. Her stats are better than mine and she's EDed to a better school. My parents are always doting on her because she's probably going to get accepted and I'm here being told "Oh, your sister's likelihood of getting into her ED is at least five times higher than you getting into yours." Fuck me.

I go to school and I hear about college. I come home and hear about college. The stress is building up and I don't wanna keep living with the purpose of "getting into a good university" because that's all I've ever been pushed to do. I can't escape this hellhole.