Guilt and shame from enjoying mother + black man

I don't wanna get too into the details of it because I'm not just trying to jerk off here but basically my mother sleeps around recently and I've managed to slightly influence things into her having (to my knowledge) her first black man, and then her second soon after. Yes I've heard it.

Obviously having had an interracial kink for years it was impossible for me not to get off to this but I literally hate myself so much afterwards. It's one thing for it to be an abstract idea of a woman/mommy etc getting blacked but now it's my actual mother that I'm successfully cumming to and idk, I drop so low after knowing I've gone so far, just feel kinda evil for it, like I've tainted our really great relationship and she deserves a son who isn't an autistic porn addict cuck.