Quick musing of the military of BFDI

Battle-harden, bloodlusted, and death-seeking objects vs silly marines?

It's pretty underrated and generally, BFDI doesn't stick its toes too much to things like Star Wars or Helldivers, but with post revival BFDIA and TPOT, I think it's time for people like Needle or Fries to take on the Space Marine legions and the Stormtrooper Corps, don't you think?

1. Recovery centers

There's a game called Planetside where there is an in-universe explanation of why respawning exist and what it is. Now I never played the game itself (1 is old as hell and 2 is microtranscations and eats up frames) but this is something that I can see the entire BFDI cast utilize if they were to go to war.

The HPRC is something I don't think they'll put in the front-lines lol. Like they can carry it around and put it somewhere close but would they risk the enemy capturing it or worst, destroying it?

On the other hand, these recovery centers are more convenient and useful. They're not as versatile as the HPRC but these ones are only exclusive to one person they're meant to recover for and are smaller and compact. No risk capturing it when it only recovers one person and destroying it is less risker than the HPRC.

With that, this means any battle with the BFDI cast is a war of attrition as any losses sustained by forces like say the US military, the Imperial Guard, or the UNSC Marines are permanent. Compare it to the object side where they can easily recover each other and keep on trucking about (as evident by BFDIA 5 where Freesmart where constantly recovering each other and based on the scene of the dead bodies, there must have been thousands of dead bodies).

2. Weapons

There are two types of guns that exist in the BFDI verse.

Laser (1 & 2)

Projectile (1 & 2 & 3)

Considering that projectiles, naval mines in BFDIA 23, and the mini-gun shaped bug gun, it's safe to say that the BFDI cast could easily replicate modern firearms of real life.

But there's no reason to since laser guns exist.

They're the most blatantly overpowered gun that I've seen next to the Gravitational Beam Emitter from Blame! and the physics gun from GMod. It's a walking one shot army.

Let me put it to how overpowered this is.

BFDIA 9, Gelatin uses a laser gun to recover Fries and Tennis Ball (11:14-11:15). Based me counting the frames individually (18 frames out of 30), it comes around 0.6 seconds to travel from where the trash compactors are to the Yoylelands where the recovery center is at.

Using a speed calculator, it comes out around 16578000 miles per hour. That comes out around 21606.498892 times mach speed or just 0.024720532229 times the speed of light or 2% the speed of light.

In reference, that's about almost 4 times less than the calculations I've seen for Metro Man (Megamind) where he goes superfast.

This isn't an outlier or anything as well. To my knowledge, besides the one with Launch Party, no character has actually successively dodge a laser shot point blank or up close. They're pretty undodgeable when aimed correctly and the only chance to avoiding it is to dodge the aim of the laser gun itself.

Combined this with ships and we're talking about an army with weapons with dial-a-yield to disintegration, ships that can easily one shot planets, and oh, they can also recover themselves easily.

Hell, one character could also act as point defense seeing as the laser gun that works on anyone that isn't black hole. We're talking missiles being virtually useless, railguns being rendered obsolete, and ships that aren't packing shields one tapped and washed.

3. Objects are built different for no reason

Here's pillow jumping around and hop-scrotching like a manic. Here's Fries and the contestants he's asked to dig down going meters deep endlessly with no signs of fatigue.

Here's a calculation of Bubble's strength in BFB 13.

In one post I made related to this: "Bubble is strong enough to carry a Flying Elephant, a british tank from WW1, which was projected to weigh 100 tons and could probably drag around and flip a US M1 Abrams tank, which weighs 73.6 short tons. And she held on that weight for 45 seconds."

Depending on where you think which character's strength could also apply to another, we're talking about a force that can rip a US soldier in half, King Shark style.

There's also this line from the wiki: "it was revealed that Loser has more fans on Earth than people, showing his extreme popularity"

Now whether this is true or not, it's up in the here. I do believe in the validity of this statement though.

Evidence one: The city in BFDIA 23. This is in rush hour but given the amount of cars, I say it's pretty busting with people. Given that it's a resort and there are skyscrappers around, based on using google, the city is somewhere between 1000-500000.

Evidence two: Mount everest themselves. Frankly, depending on how you interpret this, we're talking about random objects just existing for some reason to even the air itself being possibly sentiment. Hell, the fact that Cloudy, Firey, and Tear Drop exist and they have variants implies a whole lot of Cloudies, Fireies, and Tear Drops.

So the population of BFDI is somewhere between might not be a lot to bigger than 8 billion of our RL world.

That's about a whole lot of superhumans lying about and potentially stage a guerilla war on par with Huntsmen from RWBY.

Also, Black Hole exist, holy shit I forgot about him.

4. Industry and Technology

There's an aerospace manufacturing plant in Yoyle city. It holds this type of spaceship. Given how it's one plant and how insignificant it is in size and spot in the city itself implies some insane levels of manufacturing and ease.

Like, just imagine being a citizen of this city when it was still lively and you see this. It's insane.

Also, taking a look at the list of inventions, this shit is actual Jimmy Neutron shit. Holy fuck man.

Time travel, time reversal, power armor to a degree, shrink ray, growth ray, multiple mind technologies, and honest to god teleportation.

Let me put it this way.

Golf Ball pops in a nuclear silo, triggers a detonation, and pops out. These objects do not mess around with technology lmafo.

Conclusion

BFDI Earth and its military is honest to god, a hellhole to try and conquer. And its military has some legitimacy in going toe-to-toe with Code Geass, HighFleet, RWBY, and fuck it, Codename KND. And they could take all four of them combined.

They even have a theoretical space fleet that could take on ships from The Expanse, Star Wars, and COD: Infinite Warfare.