AIW for being upset after my boyfriend was too tired for aftercare?

Hi, I'm the girl from AIW for thinking my boyfriend's inconsiderate where he wouldn't have well regulated emotions and extreme mood swings.

I (f, early twenties ) have a difficult relationship with intimacy. I have a short uterus which causes extreme discomfort or pain during intimacy. I've always communicated that with my partners, tried to find solutions and barely found any. So I've just pushed through: I've dissociated or counted in my head to ease the pain. I don't think I have to mention that I've never finished.

Two years ago I became a victim of stealthing. I felt horrible after and it ate parts of my soul alive. Since then I desperately need affection and attention after intimacy or else I shut down completely.

My boyfriend (m, 27) is aware of that. He makes me feel safe during it and I know I can always tell him to stop and he will stop. And we found ways so I can deal with the immense pain better. But when we were finished - no aftercare. I had to make sure he'd stay awake. I was disappointed, but I tried to be understanding: he was up since 4, worked 10 hours and is probably exhausted. So we went upstairs and then he complained about his teeth. How his rotten teeth ruin his life and how his jaw hurts (which I showed understanding for) and that he's angry because every dentist he went to refused to treat his severe case. I wanted nothing but to use the bathroom and he's the type of man who'll complain for 45 minutes in a monologue straight. So, to cut the topic, I suggested that I could ask my dentist, that they're professional and may be just the right person for that. He was so angry after that, telling me I put too much pressure on him. Then he went on telling me about all the things he needs to get done and how I'm putting pressure on him. I was so confused and said that I'm not intending to put pressure on him and that he doesn't have to do anything; I'll ask for him when I'm getting my next appointment done and either they can help him or they can't. But he was angry already and complained, complained, complained. Then he smoked. Which, by the way, we were fighting about as well, because I thought he wanted to go outside to smoke a cigarette because he kept saying he "wants to go smoke" while he meant he'd open the window to smoke a e-cigarette. Then he got upset because I moved my desk to give him more space. He sighed deeply and said he's just so angry and stressed because he's tired and that I'm talking back too much. I went quiet and let him be. And I couldn't help myself but wonder: how could he behave like that all while being tired but couldn't give me aftercare? Is a kiss on the forehead or him offering me a bottle of water really that much of a deal? Or cuddling? I ... Feel weird and used. And I feel shut down. And I'm not sure if he understands my problem. I'm not even sure if I'm overreacting.