I feel bad because part of me is wanting a relationship, but the other part of me wants to have fun and just be FWB

So I (M20) feel kind of bad and I don’t know if this is just me being not mature, but I am the most inexperienced person out of my entire group with relationships or sexual stuff and I would really like to be in a relationship and I like the idea of just having that girl that you were friends with and became a couple with, you all are doing all sorts of stuff in life together like getting your own place, going on adventures, having fun doing stuff that each other wants to do, growing, having a family, just living life together and being each other’s best friend

The other part of me wants to be sexually adventurous but also just have a connection right now like an actual FWB but the F in the FWB is actually a friend more than the benefits. just want to explore stuff sexually like fantasies like threesomes/foursomes and just have fun but I feel bad about it.

Am I a bad person for this or just not mature? The bad thing about this is some kind of autistic and to be honest I don’t even know how to go about finding friends that would actually want to do this and just be FWB without hurting friendships or feelings.