There is no salvation

I don't know how long I can keep going.

Technically speaking, I now take meds, that finally help with my anxiety. But I just am not happy. I am not fine. I should be happy. But I just don't even know what a happy life would be like anymore.

I have struggled with mental illness and drug addiction for more than a decade now. And I'm still here struggling. Why can't I give up. I don't want to fight anymore. This sucks. This whole existence sucks.

Even this post sucks. I'm not giving any insight into my life with this. But I just don't even know what to say. I am so tired of fighting.