I’ve been thinking about dying soon like really soon

I might kill myself in 1 day I was planning in a week but I can’t at

I’m just so done I’ve screwed up so many things I lost a scholarship and I got expelled from university when I had only one year left to graduate

I also got scammed out of my life savings I lost my ability to drive because of a health condition and there are so many other things

I met this girl four months ago. She’s kind and cool, and we have the same interests so we hang out a lot. But I don’t think she wants me she always say that your the best man ever and she enjoys hanging with me the most but She always mention that she doesn’t want love because she’s afraid of losing her husband someday, the way her mother lost her father and fell into depression for over 20 years

I think she’s trying to push me away I’m not blaming her it’s her life But it’s my life too and right now I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it anymore

I live alone and lately I just can’t get myself out of bed I feel like I just don’t have it in me anymore

But at least I don’t have anyone depending on me so I can go through this without feeling guilty