Almost killed myself last night.

Hey guys, I'm 15 and I almost killed myself yesterday.

Sparing some of the background details, about a week ago maybe I started cutting myself because everything was too much to endure.

I kept trying to talk with my mom the past month to make me a Dr's. Appointment so I could try and get help (not mentioning cuts to my parents) but its been taking awhile.

She told me my dad wanted to talk to me before anything. Last night he came home from work and we sat at the table​​. We began talking, me mostly about everything I've just been feeling and stuff like that.

Then, once it was his turn to talk, he told me about how everyone goes through what I am, how sleeping so much to escape being conscious was okay, he inferred that I was stupid while also blatantly calling me immature on a topic, just other small things, too.

Then, after they went into their room to sleep, I went into my room, cut my thigh a little bit more and then started to cry. Then, I went into my closet and got my 30.06 rifle and kept it pointed at my chin repeatedly asking myself why I couldn't pull the trigger.

after I heard a noise, I quickly put everything away and left the closet. It felt so surreal​, the house was so quiet, I went to bed. Now, I feel exhausted.