I Love You! Should Have Sent This Letter...

This letter lives in my drawer. You were right about everything that mattered.

I'm sorry you found those words from last year. M experimenting with being someone who could treat hearts like content. The personality was fake but it revealed something true: I was someone who could be glib about the very thing that would become sacred to me. You deserved someone who wouldn't even pretend to be cavalier about love.

I'm sorry for the times I saw only parts of you instead of the whole. You deserved someone who could match your grace. The kind that costs everything but looks effortless. Your brilliant mind that chooses tenderness. The way you transform ordinary moments into something more.

I loved you completely. Not despite the complications but within them. The crooked roads and staying by telephone lines. I am still there, even though we're walking different directions now.

You needed more than I could give while keeping the life I'd built. That failure is mine. Loving you taught me what wholeness looks like. The kind of ruin I'm not trying to repair. I know I should want to move on. I tried. But I can't seem to.

Unsent but true!