14M: Got pressured into a situationship I never wanted. Now she’s controlling and won’t back off. What do I do?

For context, my parents drilled into my head at a young age I can’t date. Never held hands, kissed, nothing.

im 14, and I had thoughts and minor attempts of suicide before this, including overdose and cutting. none of this had to deal with my parents but more because school was just too stressing.

I sat down on the bus, headphones on until a girl who was sitting in front of me turned around on demanded my Snapchat. There were tons of people looking at us so I felt inclined to give it to her.

for Privacy reasons, let’s name the girl Ava. She has severe family issues, and a vaping addiction she is ‘trying’ to stop. She’s 14 as well.

Later when I get to my stop, Ava texts me. Mostly normal stuff like “How are you”, “What’s your favorite color”, etc.

She then tells me that she was liked me for about two weeks. I was stumped, but I had to quickly shut it down.

”I’m sorry—can’t date you. My parents said I’m not allowed and honestly I’m not looking for a partner.”

”Oh, itll just be a situationship.”

I had no idea what that meant. I wasn’t well-versed in relationship terms or anything like that, all I liked doing was writing books, reading my bible and working out.

Now, I foolishly agreed thinking that maybe it’s more than friends but nothing people do in relationships.

I was wrong.

She then pressed me asking if she could kiss me on the bus tomorrow. I was reluctant at first, but my lust got the better of me and I gave in.

”Yes, you can.”

After that she took it another mile and asked if we could hold hands, that she wanted me to grope her, and a bunch of other stuff.

I said yes to everything. I felt excited in the moment, but my guilt took over.

On the bus the next day, she sat next to the window, put her jacket on her lap to conceal what was about to take place. Just know that she did everything she said, and she taught me ‘hand placement‘.

She wanted to call every night, fall asleep on the phone even though I told her I had strict parents that wouldn’t allow it (but I still did anyways.) At some point I had to start making excuses just to not call. It was draining my mental health because she kept saying she didn’t feel loved or anything. She also made very innapropiate jokes about my private in a sexual intercouse type of way.

for several days, maybe two weeks of this going on I finally stopped it. I told her I didn’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t feel comfortable. I felt guilty about it.

“ I don’t want to do this anymore. I feel emotionally manipulated, drained, and that my life needs to be under your surveillance at all periods of the day.”

She then said that, to put it short, “ I understand. But everything was consensual. This is a situationship, we’re not dating. It’s clear you don’t care about anyone but yourself. In that case just find a therapist.”

now, I know it’s my fault for saying yes, and I shouldve stood my ground. But I never knew lust could be this strong.

But all my friends told me that, “if she knew I couldn’t date or do any of that stuff, why would she still press on?”

After all that, we’re friends now. But now I’m regretting that too. I didn’t learn my lesson and she promised to wait until I’m of marriable age.

But she still thinks I’m her property. like everything I do needs to be regulated by her. I can’t have a home girl (A best friend which is a girl), because she thinks I’m talking to them or cheating.

Ava asked me if I was talking to my bsf in a dating way, and I kept telling her we’re friends but she didn’t believe it.

she said a lot of things and I had to keep a calm head through all of it.

what do I do? Am i in the wrong? Im lost.