I feel like I’m dying

I’m a 30 yo female who is almost 2 years postpartum. I had a healthy pregnancy, delivered via c-section under general anesthesia due to my epidural not working (not sure if that’s important or not).

Before pregnancy, I was around 140 lbs & was 200lbs at delivery & extremely swollen. Around 6 weeks PP, the anxiety set in & I wouldn’t sleep for days due to the overwhelming feeling that my baby would pass if I wasn’t watching her every breath. My OB put me on 10 mg of lexapro, (once a day) and I was on that until after my daughter’s 1st birthday (11-12 months). I struggled those months to lose weight and stayed around 170 lbs. When the anxiety subsided & I felt secure enough to wean off my lexapro, my doctor mentioned that I would see the weight fall off since I live an extremely healthy & active lifestyle. When I was taken off of my Lexapro, I picked back up on my Adderall, (10mg instant release 2x a day), which I have been taking since high-school. I noticed my weight change around June & was around 140. As of last week (Dec. 2025) I’m weighing in at 113. I’ve also realized I’ve been chalking a lot of my “symptoms” up to us moving into a new home, having a busy toddler & being ADHD. I’ve always been a night owl, I have always loved salty foods BUT not like this. *My first symptom was extreme cold sensitivity & bad insomnia. I didn’t feel sleepy until 2 am - even if I hadn’t taken my adderall that day. My toes are always ice cold and even walking through the produce section can cause me to almost lock up and physically shake.

• my fingernails (6/10) are literally wavy and ridged. I wouldn’t say brittle & they are growing as normal. *my gums burn to the point of tears / not wanting to eat. I let that go on for 2-3 months or so before I called my dentist due to needing sedation for cleanings and irrational fears of losing my teeth. Once I went & she did full x-rays, she told me to go get labs drawn bc my teeth didn’t even have enough buildup for a deep clean. No cavities, no receding of my gums, no inflammation.
• my hair doesn’t lather in the shower. Again, we just moved, so I assumed it was from using different water than I’ve always used. (We moved to BFE & use well water now. It runs through 5 filters before it hits my head) I’ve tried different shampoos, showered in different places & have the same issue. My husband doesn’t have this issue - hair washes and feels as it always has. As of a few days ago, my scalp burns when I wash my hair and still no lather. Almost feels like my hair is pine straw.
• I have noticed a slight more hair coming out during my showers. With being a natural fine haired blonde, I don’t have much to lose. I haven’t noticed any bald patches but feel as though it’s possibly thinning more, even if it’s slowly happening. *my inner lips slough off after every brush. Morning & night about 15 mins after, white stringy skin starts shedding down where my lip meets my gum line. I’ve tried different tooth pastes & nothing changes.
• about 2 weeks ago, I threw up two nights in a row with no previous stomach bug symptoms & felt better after puking. The third night, I had bad heart palpitations & was honestly scared to go to sleep.
• my appetite in the last 2 weeks has skyrocketed with craving fatty, salty, & honestly terrible for me foods. I will eat 4 full meals and need a snack in between each. Every time I eat, I feel like I haven’t eaten in days & will eat 2-3 plates of food. Even so, my weight drop within the past 3 weeks has been the most severe, per month, since March.
• 4 days ago, I went to give bloodwork & weighed 115.6 & 3 days ago, I had to go back in due to dark blood in my stool. I weighed in at 113.2, exactly 24 hours later in the almost same outfit & shoes. Around an hour before passing the blood in my stool, I was in pain that I’ve never felt nor could describe other than feeling like my organs were hardening or cramping up & not releasing. My whole trunk, from nipples to c section scar, front to back, felt like I was in rigor mortis. The blood was intertwined into my stool, but was almost being pulled out by the water of the toilet & is why I noticed it. Crimson in color. Soft BM, but solid enough. No straining, no pain in my “downstairs mixup”. My energy levels have been amazing. I haven’t felt bad or off up until the two nights I threw up, the night after & then 3 days ago when my body felt like it was cancelling me out of existence. I don’t require a nap, I don’t feel the need to sit down and rest or even sleep until 2-3 am. Even with every symptom, I’ve been living life as normal up until this week. Important to note my maternal family history bc holy mf shit Mother has

• stage 3 kidney disease (doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke)
• Hashamitos
• Hypothyroid
• Gurd
• Gal stones that required Gal-bladder removal (Younger) Brother has
• signs of early, stage 2 kidney disease (Younger) sister
• POTS
• hyperthyroid
• iron deficiency / anemia
• low white blood cell count

My family is extremely active, my mom does CrossFit as well as my brother and both follow a diet similar to Paleo just with green veggies & low sugar fruits. My mom has never smoked but her father died of liver cirrhosis & lung cancer due to being a smoking alcoholic, so I’m sure she has been engulfed in second hand smoke her whole childhood. My dad’s side is also anemic & my grandparents & dad are extremely overweight. No high BP or heart issues. My daughter had a 4 month battle with extremely swollen eye lids which her pediatrician assumed was allergies. Unfortunately, we discovered it was from her having severe anemia that was undiagnosed for those 4 months. She required a week at Wolfsons with 3 blood transfusions & 6 months of iron supplements. I initially assumed I was having low iron bc of my cold intolerance but I’m lost now.

I know that my weight loss hasn’t concerned my doctor until this month. BUT I have heard the rudest comments for 2 months about “how sick I look”, “you need to eat”, “you must be on drugs” from family & “friends”. I have always been athletic, have strong / thick legs & a very muscular booty from softball & basketball. Plus that’s how both my parents are built. I have almost zero muscle in my legs or ass & I was trying to brag about my arm muscles to my mom & she looked almost devastated. She told me.. “I feel like I could break your arm if I squeezed hard enough” and begged that I go get my blood checked.

I will try to comment reply with my labs they drew up last week - we are still waiting on the estrogen & testosterone to come back but I’m scared I’m going to make things worse from the worrying I have been doing. I don’t want it sugar coated. If there’s anything that concerns you, something that sticks out or peaks your interest, I will answer to my best ability. I can’t wait 12 days to go back to find out.