so worried for myself

finished o levels abt 1 month ago, but the worry is getting to me. i have been getting nightmares of me getting horrible ass l1r5s, to the point it disrupts my entire sleep cycle during this hol when im supposed to have fun. idk how to combat it though, so thats 1 thing. secondly, through this holiday i have realised i have very severe floater friend effect, and somehow i cant seem to get along with someone or some group of friends THAT well. idk but this is spiralling me into a downhill path of depression for sm reason. and also for some reason recently i started researching about kpop idols who commited suicide, dont ask me why. but yeah, i rlly hope i dont end up like them. the scares are haunting me...