The sentiment "you'll turn fat and ugly on T" is making me feel guilty

I love being on T (been on it for 4 months), it makes me so happy and in so many other regards has improved my mental health. I can finally see a future for myself.

The being said, since going on T I have become more obsessed with food than I have in the past. I've been feeling very guilty after everytime I eat and nitpicking my weight, much more than usual. Prior to starting T, I've had quite a few people joke about how I'll turn fat, bald and ugly on hormones and it's been echoing in my head. It doesn't help that it's not an uncommon sentiment to see online. I've kind of an on and off strained relationship with food and weight, so I'm sensitive to this current sentiment about trans men. Doesn't help that I recently quit that side of twitter around 4 or 5 months ago (I'm likely still brainrotted from my days over there).

I admit the side effects of increased appetite and weight gain were unsettling to me. Stories of trans men having insatiable appetites and big binges (sorry rotisserie chicken dude) really unnerves me. But if I had to choose between being a "fat ugly" man and a woman, I'd choose being a man any day. The benefits outweigh the risks.

With how constantly guilty I've been feeling around food, eating and hunger right now. I'm kind of trying to hold myself back from escalating to more harmful behaviours. I'm kind of worried that expressing these sorts of insecurities proves "I'm not stable enough" for hormones, but T is helping me a lot. It's more the current fear-mongering everyone else has around weight and transition that's hurting me?

I don't know if any of this makes sense. I'm hoping to find someone who relates.