AIW for wanting to separate our finances
Before going on, I recognize I could leave my husband, that’s not what I’m asking about. To me this is a last ditch effort to see if he will change his behavior.
My husband has been secretly spending money on porn for years. In the span of 3 years, I have caught him multiple times paying people to message him via telegram, send him videos, etc. I have repeatedly asked him to stop but he hasn’t. I told him the next time I will create my own bank account and we will separate finances and split them 50/50.
Here is where I feel maybe I am in the wrong. I am the bread winner of the two of us. His income barely covers rent and mine covers everything else and some. I worry that he’ll view me as financially controlling because I am at the point of separating our finances but I view it as me protecting myself and our finances.
Am I wrong for doing this?
TLDR: husband spends hundreds on porn each month. I want to separate our finances and we each cover things 50/50 but worry he’ll see me financially controlling.
Posted Dec 7, 2025, 4:47 AM UTC